At this time we will be struggling with a lot of negative thoughts therefore, it is essential to look after our mental health. In this blog, we look at helping you to alter your thoughts. We will also look at how you can help others to manage what they’re thinking so that the negatives, which increase anxiety, depression and other mental health issues, do not overtake the positives.
In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) they often talk about the fact that our emotions are not caused by events themselves but by your interpretation of a situation or event.
As we live our life, we develop our own ‘map of the world’ based on our own experiences, the things we learn, the people we learn from and also the sensory information that our mind decides to ‘store’.
To demonstrate what is meant by this, take the example of two people in a room. Both are the same age and have had a similar upbringing. Someone brings in a dog and one of them has a fearful reaction, backs away, shaking and shouting out. The other person has the complete opposite reaction and rushes to pet the dog, with a huge smile. Rather than fear this second person is experiencing joy and happiness to the exact same situation.
Why does this happen?
Somewhere in person 1’s past they have experienced, either directly or indirectly, an incident that has lead them to associate dogs with pain – therefore their mind signals the appropriate fear response as a means to keeping them safe. Then if we look at person 2, somewhere in their past – their map of the world – they have deduced that dogs equal happiness and joy. Hence the differing responses.
How does this help me?
If you find that your thoughts are always running away with you, and emotionally you tend to spend more time in the negative zone, then it is worth exploring your own ‘map of the world’ to see if there are things that maybe need updating and changing (yes, this can be done).
The intent of our mind and brain is always to help us, by trying to steer us away from pain and hopefully towards pleasure. The reality is though it does not always get it right so when we suspect this has happened we need to first notice it, then challenge it.
How do I do that?
The mistake many people make when their thoughts are spiralling and getting progressively worse – is they try and either ignore them or fight them. They may even call themselves silly or stupid for thinking those things. The problem is your mind generally brings things to mind for a reason – so if you ignore it or fight it – then chances are it will get more persistent and keep coming back… possibly in a more exaggerated way (the internal equivalent of screaming and shouting to get your attention).
When you first notice your thoughts are spiralling, stop and listen. Maybe grab a pen and paper and write down what is going on in your head – however ridiculous it sounds. Then ask yourself some or all of the following questions:
- What specifically am I (insert emotion i.e. worried, scared, sad) about?
- Is this true/real?
- Do I absolutely know this to be true/real?
- What evidence do I have that this is true/real?
- How do I feel, react and behave when I believe this thought?
- How would I feel if I didn’t have this thought?
- What else could this be about?
- What can I do to feel better?
Remember, it is ok to not be ok. It is ok to feel unhappy, scared, sad or any other emotion about something – even if other people don’t seem to be affected. What is not OK is if this then starts to impact your life in a negative way, if you start to feel like you are staying in those unhelpful thoughts, those unpleasant emotional states. As soon as you notice this, take action, take control. The more you do this, the easier it will get and the less likely those unwanted thoughts and feelings are likely to return.
Don’t forget SAM is here to help manage and monitor wellbeing, if you would like to know more why not sign up for a demo or one of our webinars. Also, at this time, communicating with employees is essential for mental health and you can access further wellbeing support by utilising SAM’s new staff communications app SAMconnect, which is free to all schools, trusts and businesses until September. Contact us or call one of the team on 01924 907319 if you are interested.
Our sister company FusionHR are also offering further support including a virtual course ‘Stress Less, Smile More’, focusing on how to manage mental health and wellbeing. They will be discussing how to manage stress, build resilience and stay in control. Click here for more information about the course and to secure your place. Finally, they also offer many wellbeing services including occupational health, counselling and developing employee wellbeing strategies, amongst other projects. Click here for more information or contact one of the team.
This blog was written by Nicky Lloyd Greame, founder of The Stress Specialist at https://www.thestressspecialist.com
